Suck it up, Buttercup!!!

Yes, that title is directed straight at me.  No ifs, ands, or buts about it!!!  Today I signed my son up for swim lessons given through our local school district.  He is definitely excited about it and kept wanting to go see the pool while we were there waiting.  At EJ's age, he doesn't realize that he's still got to wait another month or so before they begin and that the pool wasn't even at the location where registration was this morning.  But, yes, he's most certainly looking forward to his upcoming swimming lessons, of which it was agreed between me and his father, that his father would do his best to be the one to take him on the nights of the lessons.

EJ - Summer of 2010 - Such a ham!!!

You see, I kind of can't take EJ to his swimming lessons since at the age of 41 (knocking on 42's door in another 6 weeks or so - yikes!), I never learned how to swim.  Nope, not even a doggie paddle.  Sad and scarey, I know.  It's not that I have an extreme fear of water itself or anything, since I love being at the beach, the lake, poolside, wherever there is water.  It calms me and relaxes me like nothing else in the world.  I even enjoy going on bigger-sized boats.  So, it's not the actual water itself that I fear, but the EXTREME fear and feeling of claustrophobia, of being COMPLETELY SURROUNDED by water and the thought of being underwater and not being able to breathe.  And my claustrophia is not just limited to water, it goes to any tight, enclosed, and/or cramped area.  I have to have MRIs done of my brain for my MS.  Thank heaven I've always had VERY understanding MRI techs do my scans.  I'm so bad that I need to be drugged up on valium or something stronger, plus have someone in the MRI room with me holding my hand the entire time, all while trying to relax to the music of Andrea Bocelli via my headphones.  Even then, I'm still as tense as a whore at Sunday church service - LOL!!!  Yes, I do suffer from an extreme case of claustrophia and I know it.  It truly does suck to put it bluntly and has stopped me from doing certain things in my life.  So, anyway, back to my not swimming.  EJ's dad agreed to take him to the classes as I don't want to pass on my fear of swimming to him.  Even if I plaster the biggest smile on my face, EJ will see it in my body language and feel the scared energy flowing from every ounce of my being. 

About as far as I'll comfortably go now in the water.

Even before I was pregnant with EJ, I always said "God, if you bless me with a child, I swear I'll take swimming lessons.  I promise."  Well, the good Lord, did bless me with the most amazing son in the world; yet I still haven't lived up to my end of the bargain.  Now's the time to "put up or shut up" as the saying goes.  I've started looking into it a few times, and I know that the local YMCA does have adult swim classes for beginners, but now it's time to actually CALL them and find out more about signing up and what not.  I'd do anything in the world for my son and his well-being, health, and safety, so I HAVE to do this to be the best mom I can be for him.  If it means facing one of my BIGGEST fears in the world, so be it.  It's got to be done.  Heck, even typing this I'm shaking a bit and having some shallow breathing going on.  I'm that freaked out about it.  But, as this post states "Suck it up, Buttercup!!!"  And, yes, that's exactly what I'm going to have to do before summer starts.  Wish me luck everyone, as I'm going to need LOTS and LOTS of it!!!!  A few prayers and positive vibes wouldn't hurt any, either :-)  I'll take what I can get.  I'm not picky like that - LOL!!!!!

At least one other good thing will come from this experience.  Learning to swim will be something I can actually accomplish and cross off my Bucket List :-)  Gooooooooo me!!!!!

Wishing you peace, love, and happiness,

Kristyn