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Saturday, April 6, 2013

"So What's Your Story?"

I have to say, today opened my eyes up to something, and it was quite sobering to say the least.  All this brought on by a simple question, which I could not find a real, deep down, honest answer for.

Earlier in the day my son and I went to a local business expo in our town that involved many different businesses within the surrounding area of which we live.  It was quite family-friendly, as they had a face painter, magician, a clown performing tricks, dancers, and various other performances/showcases for the amusement of the kids in attendance.  My son absolutely loved the face painter, who just so happens to be a parent of one of his cooking classmates.  A small world for sure!  Not only did I meet this woman, but many other business professionals, along with learning about various companies and their services within my local community.  It was a definite success of a morning all around.

Pirate EJ from earlier today!!!
One of the women I met was a local photographer who I previously "met" online via Facebook and her business page.  So through sporadic Facebook posts over the course of the past whoever-knows-how-many months, when I went up to her booth she recognized me from my many Facebook profile pics.  We then proceeded to formally introduce ourselves to each other and introduce our munchkins; I had EJ and she had one of her daughters, "Monkey #2" as she affectionately refers to her as.  It's funny how we "clicked" so quickly, too.  She then went on to ask me "So what's your story?"  For which I shrugged my shoulders and responded I didn't have one, I'm just me.  There really wasn't anything I could come up with.  This, of course, got me thinking the rest of the afternoon:  "Who Am I???"

For the past 4-1/2 years, I've been known as EJ's/Elias' (he goes by both names) mom.

For the past 9+ years, I was known as Ski's wife / Woz's wife.  Those are the 2 nicknames my ex went by with his friends and co-workers.  Of course now we can make that ex-wife. LOL

Before I stopped working due to my Multiple Sclerosis, I worked in the business world from the time I was 16 until the age of 37 as someone's assistant, administrative assistant, secretary, right-hand-person, etc.  

For the past 43-years I've been someone's daughter, granddaughter, sister, and niece.

Someone's cousin for 38 years and sister-in-law for 22 years.

I've been a woman with Multiple Sclerosis for the past (almost) 12-years.

When I get a chance, which is rare, I like to bake, create various birthday/anniversary/occasion cards, even dabble in point-and-shoot photography.  Oh, and we can't forget I'm a sporadic blogger!

Gluten-free cupcakes I made for my 43rd birthday!  I LOVE my pink!!!

Birthday card I made for my friend's daughter.

Smiling for his close up!!!!!!!!

But, still, that doesn't answer who I am, or what my story is.  It's like I'm missing a passion and a direction in my life, which upsets me more than words can say.  I'm a Pisces for crying-out-loud!!!  We're passionate people!!!  We're dreamers!!!  But with all these things I listed above and enjoy doing when I get the chance, there's still something missing; and I can't put my finger on it.  

When I started this blog around the time my ex moved out, I named it "Rediscovering Kristyn" in the hopes that I would find out who I am.  But as we can see by this post, that hasn't happened.  I'm so caught up in everything else going on around me and living my life in a reactive way, that I haven't been proactive in learning who and what I am about.  I'm 43-years old and still have no clue.  I have to admit, I find it quite disheartening to say the least.  Will I ever figure it out?  Will I ever have an answer to the question "So what's your story?"  

I guess that is the million dollar question.  But that leads me to one more question then...If I do figure it all out, do I get the million dollars?!?!?!!!!!  ROFL!!!

Wishing you peace, love, and happiness,

Kristyn


5 comments:

  1. Loved your honesty in your blog. I think people tend to put on the pretense that they are "happy", "fulfilled" that life is "perfect". I have always cringed at the word "perfect". My reason? If things are perfect than we have stopped growing. There is no place to go after "perfect". You express that you need to rediscover yourself. Maybe you havent given yourself the opportunity to do this. Maybe you literally have to schedule your rediscovery. Look thru the paper, research online, ask friends, then find something that you want to do and SCHEDULE it. Literally put in on the calendar. And dont only pick things that are familiar to you. Pick things that you would NEVER do. Imagine realizing that you LOVE SEWING? Now that would be a discovery. Good luck with your journey. Keep us posted.

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  2. Kristyn, thanks for sharing I agree with Nanette (she happens to be very knowledgable and a great person). I too started a blog sometime in the last two years to do the same thing. Needless to say I am still clueless! I am a mother of 4 ages 22-10, turned 40 this past year and I have NO idea who "I" am? Good luck on your quest and yes keep us posted and if I ever find myself I will let you know, lol!

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  3. PS. Share your GF recipes too! Mama Schuller and I both have Celiac daughters - we love sharing our GF finds! Are you GF to control your MS? Does it help?

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  4. Thanks for your comments, Nanette. :-) Like you, I cringe at "Perfect," which is something I am far from. As I like to say, I'm perfectly imperfect!!! I wish I had the time to schedule for myself, but it's hard being a single mom to a very active (both physically and with his preschool and extra classes) young child. I know once he's in Kindergarten in another 1-1/2 years I'll definitely have more time to rediscover myself, so in the meantime I do try and learn new things when I can. I'm even in the process of going outside of my comfort zone in a way by creating a working prototype of sorts for something I'm interested in possibly selling. So that is my new, current project. So far I got through the first step of both Prototype A and Prototype B so it's so far/so good. :-) As for GF recipes, I just use a GF flour that has a 1-1 swap with all-purpose flour. So far it's working for when I've used it. Although a lot of the GF items I make are actually Paleo recipes that use either almond flour or coconut flour. I prefer doing GF that way as Paleo stays away from baking with any sort of refined sugars, which are not good for one's body. I made the switch to Paleo (which is entirely gluten free eating) due to overall health reasons/improvements. I don't miss the gluten at all and feel so much better for it, too. :-)

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  5. Thanks for your message, Mama Schuller. First off, I have to ask, are you the Schuller of Schuller Dairy/delivery here in Warwick? At least like me, you're still young so you have time ahead of you to discover/rediscover who you are, outside of the mom/wife role you currently fulfill. Heck, even Julia Child didn't start cooking/go to the Cordon Bleu (yeah, I probably butchered that spelling - LOL)/find her passion until her early/mid 30s and cooked well into her later years, so I have hope for any of us still trying to figure it out :-) I've blogged off and on for the past couple of years (had 2 previous blogs before this), but as you can see, I've been sporadic at best in keeping up with it. I am hoping this time around will be the charm for me, as I do enjoy doing it. I just type what's on my mind/stream of consciousness. Seems to work when I can get it done at night. :-) And, yes, if you find yourself one of these days, please let me know. I don't love to hear about the search/adventures!! Me, well, if you keep checking back, I'm sure you'll see more posts from me...My current goal is as least once a week or so.... LOL!!!

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