And the winner is……..

The fans have spoken, and the winner of last week’s “pick the next topic” question, was:

2.  My point of view on a somewhat recent what-seems-to-be controversial holiday topic.  

So, what was the holiday controversy I was alluding to?  I’d seen this topic on a few Facebook pages, and I even chimed in on one of these conversations/arguments.  People seemed to have gotten their panties/boxers all in a twist over the recent Kmart Jingle Bells Joe Boxer ad.  If you haven’t seen it, here is a Youtube link for your viewing.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSO3Rv6GLqQ

 I, personally, found it to be quite clever and tongue-in-cheek.  What those who were upset with it were saying/arguing is that it was either disgusting, lewd, inappropriate, and/or various other adjectives.  Or, they were wondering how to explain it to their children.  The other objection was that it was played over and over while watching children’s Christmas/Holiday shows while the kids were awake and watching TV with them.  Let me break down my view on all of this.  Again, this is my own, personal opinion on the subject...obviously!!!

In regards to the various negative adjectives used to describe the commercial, if you didn’t like it, you simply could have switched the channel.  Easy Peasey!!   No one was forcing you to watch it.  If you didn’t like it or didn't want your kids to watch it, this is a country of free will.  You should have turned on something you did approve of for the 30-60 seconds the commercial was on.  If you didn’t switch it off, maybe you didn’t mind it so much after all. ;-)  Just saying….

OK, the explaining of the commercial to your kids concern, of course it would need to be put in age appropriate terms.  But, from my own personal experience when my 5-year old son happened to see it, he just thought the guys were shaking their butts, and he proceeded to copy them.  That boy sure does love to shake his booty!!!   Now, to me, that would have been the easiest thing to explain to both boys and girls, especially if/when the full commercial was shown with the men ringing the bells behind the table at the very beginning.  Once that table slides over, anyone thinking it’s something else ringing just has a plain ‘ol dirty mind!!! :D  No doubt the teenage girls were giggling, but that’s a whole other topic.  Apparently the apple didn’t fall far from the tree if mom was still watching the commercial, too.  However, if that first part of the commercial is missed where the men are behind the draped table, even if the child knows about male anatomy, we all know testicles don’t ring like bells, so why couldn’t the concerned adult have explained it as the men shaking their butts in time to the music, just as if they were dancing?  A simple and truthful explanation.  Certainly more honest than the concept of men's anatomy actually ringing out Jingle Bells...And notice, it's Jingle Bells NOT Jingle Balls!!!

Finally the showing of the commercial during Christmas/Holiday movie viewing time.  Once or twice would have been fine and gotten Kmarts name/sales info out there.  Overkill is overkill, no matter what the commercial is, though.   I may have personally enjoyed seeing all that eye candy (it's healthier and calorie free after all!!!), but enough was enough when it was on every 15 minutes for hours on end.  However, in the end, I don’t blame Kmart for that decision; and is also why I was annoyed when people were stating they would boycott Kmart because of the ad and it even being shown on TV.  For me, this commercial was borderline genius and accomplished what Kmart set out to do….get their name out there during the holidays to drum up business.  My answer to those objections about the frequency and timing of the commercial was if you didn’t like the commercial being on during family viewing hours, take that up with the station you were watching.  They are the ones who make the programming decisions.  They are the ones who decided to take Kmart’s money and to run the ads as much as they did.  They could have said no to Kmart and no to the money.  They could have decided to not play the commercial.  So if you have a problem with when/how much that commercial was on, take it up with the various stations you were all watching.  But don’t blame Kmart.   In the end, it’s not their fault.

So what do you think of my first-ever controversial blog topic?  Should I do more in the future?  Let me hear your thoughts and suggestions!!

Now that the holidays are just about over with New Year’s Eve quickly approaching, let me take this time now to thank everyone for reading my blog and getting a glimpse inside the complex workings of my mind.  I really do appreciate your time and any/all feedback you’ve given over the months.  There will be much more to come in the New Year, don’t you worry!!!  One of my new posts will be the topic that got the 2^nd highest amount of votes, my “Three Dates, Three Months, 30,000 miles” dating philosophy.  I had a close, long-time male friend of mine comment about it on my Facebook page, who also happens to have experienced this philosophy first hand with me.  As we were commenting back and forth on it, I realized I need to dedicate one whole blog post to him. – LOL!!!  We’re talking about a history that goes back to when we met on my 15^th birthday.  To put that into perspective, I will be 44 years old this coming March...we'll be hitting 29 years of us knowing each other!!!  It’s been a long and crazy, up-and-down roller coaster ride for the two of us to say the least!!!

So, until next time….

Wishing you peace, love, happiness, and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Kristyn  

You Have A Say!!! Let Me Know Your Choice!!!

Hello to everyone reading this!!! 

I need a favor.  I have a few different topics I've been wanting to blog about for the past week or so that are currently going on in my life.  However, I can't decide on which one to write about first.  This is where you guys and gals come into play.  I'm leaving the decision up to YOU, my readers!!  Plus, it'll give me a chance to see if anyone is really reading and enjoying my weekly musings on my life anyway. LOL  So, without further ado, here are the three choices, in no particular order:

1.  A follow up to my Fireworks vs. Sparks post earlier this month.

2.  My point of view on a somewhat recent what-seems-to-be controversial holiday topic.  

3.  The meaning behind my "Three Dates, Three Months, 30,000 Miles" dating philosophy. 

Please, please, pretty please vote away by leaving a comment below, or you can leave a remark on my Facebook page, for those of you who know me on there! :-)  The topic with the highest amount of votes is what I'll blog about later this week after the Christmas holiday.  Then, I'll work my way through the remaining two topics in the coming weeks, along with any other new topics that inspire me.  Sound good?

I can't wait to see what y'all choose!!!

Wishing you peace, love, and happiness,


Kristyn

The Blessing of An Unbreakable Bond

This post is dedicated to all my September 2008 WTE moms...You know who you are!! 

Back on New Year’s Eve day of 2007, I found out I was pregnant with my son, who would then be born in September 2008.   As I had just recently lost a pregnancy due to it being ectopic, my guard was understandably up; and I was being a tad bit cautious about announcing this new pregnancy to anyone.   Throughout those first few months, I had found a board on the website What To Expect When You’re Expecting  (WTE) for moms who were due to give birth in September 2008, as I was.  After I had successfully made it through the first trimester, I started participating in the discussions that were going on with these other women.  I started slowly at first as I was still a bit trepidatious, and I knew that I was one of the older moms on there as I had turned 38 during that first trimester.  The majority of the moms were in their early 20s.  However, just as when you meet people in real life (as opposed to via the internet), you instantly click with some.  As those online friendships grew for me and I got to feel more comfortable on the WTE September 2008 board, even more friendships took shape.  So, during that time while we were all pregnant we shared our ups and downs of our varying pregnancy symptoms/issues, our lives, shared our laughter, pain, and tears; and then slowly one by one we started having our babies.  Some were early, some were late, and others were right on time.  But one by one they came into this world and we celebrated and cheered our way through them all.

Even after having our babies, we kept the board going on WTE, but slowly we weren’t participating as actively as we once were.  We all had our newborns to take care of…feedings, poopy blowout diapers, sleep deprivation, babies getting their first fevers or sicknesses.  One thing we noticed, though, was that many of us were already on or had just recently joined Facebook.  We collectively started exchanging our email addresses/names, as up until that point we’d only been known by our online WTE board names, I was MommaSki845, and the Friend Requests slowly started happening on Facebook.  Over time we set up a few different, separate WTE September 2008 groups, all of which we made sure were Private, on Facebook.  Moms came and went over time, especially in those first few years, and we consolidated those initial boards down to one, and even now there is still an amazing group of 77 of us mommas who keep in touch with each other.  We still laugh and cry together online, we vent, we celebrate, basically we act just as any other group of close girlfriends would.  There have been spats, heated arguments, and hurt feelings along the way (of which even I was involved in), just as would happen with your girlfriends who you regularly see and hang out with.  One thing that we’ve been great about, though, is agreeing to disagree and respecting others views and decisions even if we didn’t personally agree with them. We all know how catty and competitive women can get with each other, but somehow we’ve managed to rise above all that, which has helped our bond grow even stronger over these past six years. 

Yep, it’s been just about six whole years since this group of beautiful, amazing, and supportive women became friends.  A handful of the moms have actually met each other in person, but the majority of us haven’t, as much as we’d LOVE to.  We span the entire United States, Canada, and other countries along the way for those moms who are military spouses or involved in the military overseas some way or another.   Despite those miles between us, we are there for each other emotionally and in spirit.  It’s a truly indescribable feeling to have knowing that there are individuals out there who truly care about you in good times and bad.  That’s what brings me to what in particular inspired this post.

One of our mommas is in the beginning stages of a divorce.  As someone whose marriage ended a few years ago right around this same time of year, I can relate in many ways to what she’s going through.   Just as we’ve all bared our souls to our fellow September 2008 WTE moms along the way over the years, she was really depressed, as frequently happens with many people during the holiday/Christmas season.  She wasn’t prepared for the divorce to be happening, her soon-to-be ex is being a douche, and she was feeling dejected and incredibly sad that she wouldn’t be able to give her two boys a “real” Christmas/gifts from Santa, despite her now having gone back to work with super long hours just so she can start over and be able to provide a new life for her boys.  She is such a sweet woman and has been so supportive to many of us over the years.  She just wanted to vent and she knows she can say whatever she wants to safely and without being judged or criticized.  She wasn’t looking for anything other than the emotional support that we’re known for showing each other.  So, having this incredibly unique and strong bond that I spoke of earlier among all of us ladies, one of the moms set up a separate group on Facebook, which at least a quarter of us have joined in on now, and we plan on sending her and her boys some presents and good cheer for Christmas.  This isn’t the first time we’ve come together to help out one of our moms and children who’ve been down on their luck during the holidays, either.  It’s what we love to do in whatever ways we can, and it all stems from us meeting six years ago on that one What To Expect September 2008 pregnancy board. 

This is a bond that is hard to explain to others in the “outside world,” as it truly is unique in its nature.  It’s a bond I feel incredibly blessed to have in my own life.  We may never have the opportunity to all meet up in person, but I know that no matter what, they have my back.  Maybe not physically/in person, but I know they are there for me emotionally and spiritually whenever I need them.  Heck, I’ve had to call on them for many a prayer, positive vibes, and good juju when my mom was in the hospital a few times and was going through some different, potentially life-threatening issues.  So, no, they may not be here to give me a physical hug, but they are there online when I need them and always in my heart.  I found this saying recently that I thought was very fitting for all of us: 

Closeness isn’t always measured in distance,

Friends can live many miles away,

But the bond of love formed long ago

Always keeps them close at heart.

I love you, my WTE September 2008 mommas, and thank you for always being there for me and my son. :-)

Wishing you all peace, love, and happiness,


Kristyn

FIREWORKS vs. SPARKS

As some of you may or may not know, I’ve been a single woman for a little over 2 years now after the demise of a marriage that lasted a little less than 9 years.  It wasn’t until February this year that I felt that I was ready to get back out into the dating arena.  Yeah, a scary thought for a 40-something year old single mom…let alone one who has the added “bonus” of having Multiple Sclerosis.  But, hey, who was I to let all of that stop me?!?!!!

I was contacted by a man on Match.com about a month or so ago who had in his profile, amongst many other things, that he was looking for fireworks, which on the surface is totally understandable.  Who doesn’t want to have that initial “connection” with someone?  As superficial as it may seem, we all want to have that undeniable physical attraction with a potential partner.  No, that doesn’t have to mean you’re (or me in particular) jumping into bed on the first date, either.  Although those thoughts may be swirling around in your head the entire date if/when you experience them. ;-)  I, at least, have a bit more self-respect than that, no matter how intense the initial attraction may be!!

This man and I then had some back-and-forth messages via Match, and then we started texting and talking on the phone, along with some subsequent dates thereafter.  He asked what I was looking for, and after some thought, I told him it wasn’t fireworks.  I wanted more than that.  From his reaction, I could tell he was a bit confused…what could be more than fireworks?  Think about fireworks for a minute, though.  Yes, they can be extravagant, mind-blowing, beautiful, exciting, a myriad of reactions and emotions.  But what do all fireworks have in common?  After that initial big “bang,” they slowly fall from the sky, fizzle out, and die.  Talk about a letdown after being so worked up.  That’s not what I want.  What I want are……

SPARKS!!!  Sparks, you may wonder.  Think about sparks, though.  Sparks can ignite a fire.  Think about something as simple as a campfire.  That spark from a match (or rubbing flint together if you’re so inclined!!  lol)  will light tinder, which in turn lights the logs of the campfire.  That tiny little campfire, if tended to carefully, can then turn itself into a fun and beautiful bonfire.  If you’ve ever been to a bonfire, those babies can get really HOT.  But, that bonfire could then set off a brush fire, which in turn can grow even bigger, with even more INTENSE flames which can then grow itself into a full-blown BLAZING forest fire, and that in turn can ignite into all-encompassing and SCORCHING wild fire.  Now, yes, in actuality forest fires and wild fires are NOT a good thing by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s a metaphor here, everyone, so just go with it!!  LOL  I think you get where I’m going with this, though.  That initial spark you feel for someone can grow into something glorious, larger than life, more than ANYTHING you could have ever hoped for or even imagined.  I’m not only talking in the physical and/or sexual sense, either.  I want a man who also sparks my mind, someone who will make me think, make me question ideas and beliefs that I’ve had over the years.  They may or may not change, but at least they would have been re-evaulated and looked at in a different light.  Someone who will make me ponder what I truly want out of my life.  He must also spark my soul on a deeper, more meaningful level in regards to what I hold near and dear to me at the core of my being, that part that makes me "me" and unlike anyone else.  So I have asked myself this (obviously!!  LOL), and I’ll ask it of you, my dear blog readers…Why do we limit ourselves, our dreams, and our desires in what we want and get out of this life?  I won't this time around.  I can't.  One thing you learn when you have Multiple Sclerosis, or any other incurable disease for that matter, is that life really is short.  Love every minute of it that you can.

So, yes, I don’t want fireworks that will fizzle out pretty quickly.  Well, OK, yes, there ARE certain times when I do WANT and NEED those mind-blowing fireworks, if you know what I mean!! ;-)  Along with their own added health and overall well-being benefits, of course. :-)  But, when I meet a man, I want a spark that can ignite into something bigger than what either of us could have ever imagined.  Isn’t that what we all really want out of a life partner?  I’ve limited by dreams in the past and look where it got me.  I deserve more.  I deserve someone who will feed my mind, body, and soul.  Don't you?

Until next time…

Wishing you peace, love, and happiness,

Kristyn

PS - If you like what you've read here or in other posts I've done, please feel free to leave a comment below and/or become a "Member" of my blog, by clicking on the appropriate area on the right-hand side of this page.  I appreciate any and all feedback and support.  Thank you! :-)

Me In A Nutshell

My last post I ended with the footnote that I had written my brief/concise bio paragraph for the photographer Kathie Austin of KathieAustin Photography and that I would share it with you in my next post.  Well, that next post is NOW…obviously!!  LOL!!!  So, to end your suspense, here it is.  :-)

As a huge country music fan, there are lyrics to a particular song I enjoy that sum up a way in which I approach and live my life.  They are: “You get tired and you don’t show it.  Dig a little deeper when you think you can’t dig no more.  That’s the only way I know.”  You may ask why I can identify so strongly with those lyrics, and the simple answer is that I’m a 43-year old woman who is a single mom to a happy, loving, affectionate, and rather funny boy who is constantly on the go.  What I wouldn’t do to be able to tap into his level of energy!!  But, through feeding my body by eating healthy and nutrient-dense foods; feeding my mind through expressing my creativity in a variety of ways; and by feeding my soul with living a life full of optimism and hope, and always keeping a smile on my face, I’m able to be the best person and mom I can be.  No matter what life has thrown my way, I always come back fighting and coming out stronger than before.  Yeah, I’m stubborn like that!  Oh, and in addition to all that, I’ve been living with Multiple Sclerosis for the past 13 years of my life.  No pity party going on here.  It’s just not “me” or who I am.  So remember that even in the hardest of times, all you have to do is dig a little deeper when you think you can’t dig no more.  It really does make a world of difference. 

***I did make a few more grammatical/punctuation changes to the above, but the words are the same as what I handed to Kathie.  What can I say, I’m not perfect, I make mistakes…as rare as that may be for some of you to believe. ;-)  LOL***

Yep, that’s me in a nutshell.  Well, at least the VERY generalized me for the past few years.  No doubt there is so much more to me and my life on many levels, which this blog has and will continue to reflect upon, expose, and discover along the way.  But, at the very core of my being, this is who I am…This is where the culmination of my life experiences has brought me…right here, right now…at this exact moment in time. 

As soon as I can, I will post the photo Kathie took of me and EJ for our upcoming Christmas card.  It blew me away when I saw it.  I’ve always known my son is quite photogenic (Yeah, I may be biased because I’m his mom, but he truly is a cutie pie!!!), but I didn’t turn out too shabby, if I do say so myself. ;-)  LOL!!!

Well, until next time…

Wishing you peace, love, and happiness,

Kristyn

Inspiration and Encouragement

Surprise Surprise!!!  Look who's back. :-)

Yes, it has been about 6 months since I last blogged.  There are many reasons, and even some excuses, as to why I haven't posted, but do they really matter?  I don't think so.  What matters is that I'm back!!!

The reason I feel like I am back is because of two recent happenings in my life.  Or, more precisely, two people.  One whom I would deem incredibly encouraging; and the other, obviously, would be the inspiring one.

First, the "encouraging" individual as this one will be easier to explain.  My son and I recently had some professional photos taken of us which we plan on using for our 2013 Christmas cards.  The photographer, Kathie Austin of Kathie Austin Photography in Vernon, NJ, happened to have posted on my Facebook page about a week ago that she was editing the photos, and that I was a beautiful woman.  That was so sweet of her, and it made me feel good about myself.  She then sent me a private message asking me to write up a little bio, something brief/concise/simple, talking about my having Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and being a single mom.  She said I had a story to tell and she wanted to tell it when she posted my pics, presumably on her website.  Of course I said I would do it.  She is an amazing photographer who has this uncanny ability and talent to tell stories through her pictures.  This woman is a true artistic visionary when it comes to her passion.  Writing up the bio is the least I could do for her. :-)  Plus, when I saw some of the photos a couple nights later...O-M-G!!!!!  They are STUNNING!!  She captured so beautifully that strong mother/son bond EJ and I have. 

So, because of that, I now need to put on my writer's cap and come up with this mini yet concise bio about myself, my MS, and being a single mom.  The hard part about this is even though Kathie thinks I have a story to tell, I hate talking about myself because I don't see anything special in who I am or what I am doing.  I'm a 43-year old woman who happens to be a single mom for the past two years to an active, on-the-go 5-year old little boy; and oh, I happen to be dealing with Multiple Sclerosis for the past 12+ years of my life.  I am just me.  I do what needs to be done and try like hell to be the best mom I can be.  Don't all us moms do that?  

However, after speaking with the "inspiring" one I touched on above, it's caused me to re-evaluate and look deeper into myself, my beliefs, my feelings, and many other areas of who I am as a person and as a woman.  In the most calming, trusting, accepting of ways and conversations, he's caused me to peek into those dark corners of my soul and confront some shadows that have been haunting me and holding me back in many ways throughout my lifetime.  Our conversations have also made me look at what I really want out of my life on many different levels.  I've never felt so vulnerable yet so safe talking with anyone before on such deep levels.  It's scary but exhilarating all at the same time.  So, based on some of our conversations and what I'm learning about myself, I've been inspired to write, which brings me back to this blog.  It is called "Rediscovering Kristyn" after all, and that is what I'm going through at this moment in time.  I'm truly rediscovering myself on a completely different, new, and exciting level.     

On that note, I will end this post.  I'm sure there will much more to post now that I've been encouraged and inspired.  It's amazing what can happen when those two energies come together at the same time.   :-)

Wishing you peace, love, and happiness,

Kristyn


***I started writing this post a few days ago, so I hadn't written my piece for Kathie yet.  However, it is now complete, and I brought it to her the other day.  She was pleased with it and said it inspired her to re-start the "Inspirational Women" part of her website.  I will share what I wrote for her in my next post in a few days.  I need to first get though the family turkey day tomorrow!!  Happy Thanksgiving everyone!! :-) ***

Damn!! It's Been A While....

Wow, I knew it'd been a while since I last blogged, but I didn't realize it'd been sooooo long.  Guess that's what happens when one is trying to rediscover herself. LOL

As for a quick update on that older gentleman I wrote about in March, that was incredibly short lived. The whole misrepresenting himself online about his age really did not sit well with me, at all.  The main reason my marriage broke up was because of my ex's lies to me for all those years, so why would I even want to consider dating someone who started out the whole thing with an outright lie.  Plus, for a man who was 59 years old, he didn't have the self confidence or self assured manner about himself that one should have by that age.  Me and my much stronger personality would have chewed him up in no time flat.  So, yeah, that one never got off the ground.

Since then, I've corresponded with a few other guys on Match, but didn't get to meet any of them.  One looked promising...great texts, a wonderful phone conversation, and then BAM...basically dropped off the face of the earth overnight.  About a week after he stopped texting back/calling, I noticed he changed the area where he lived on his Match profile.  Then, not even a week later he took down his profile.  So, he was either lying to me or he found someone.  Either way, oh well...his loss.  We know I'm not about chasing after anyone.  Not my style.  If the person wants to be with me and/or if it was meant to be, it will be.

For the past month I've been messaging via Match and now texting another gentleman.  Again, this looks promising.  Much more promising than any of the others, by far.  Scarily so, actually, but in a good way. LOL  There seems to be many similarities in our personalities and interests to begin with, not to mention senses of humor.  He's almost like the male version of me...YIKES!!!  Now THAT is scary!! :-D  No, we haven't spoken on the phone yet, but that is planned for within the next couple of days when both our schedules clear up.  With both of us being single parents, of which he has sole custody of his child, we need to prioritize around the schedules of our little ones as well as our own calendars.  Tricky but do-able I'm sure.  Then, we're also planning on meeting for lunch later this week.  If the texts are any indication of how our phone conversation will go, I do not think we'll be lacking for conversation AT ALL.  I have a setting on my phone that will hang onto 100 texts before it starts automatically deleting them message-by-message.  In approximately 3 hours time tonight, we sent over 100 messages; and we'd been texting back and forth/off and on all day so I can only imagine what the final total for today was!!  Good thing I have unlimited texting on my phone!!!  Keep in mind, this wasn't our first day texting each other, either.  Yes, it's the whole getting-to-know-someone phase, but still.  That's a dang lot of texts!!! LOL  This all has me quite optimistic.  However......

Yes, there is, unfortunately, a however/but in all of this.  Everything I have in my Match profile and everything I've told this man is 100% true.  As most everyone knows about me, I believe in being upfront and honest, and my life is an open book.  Heck, I write a blog and pour my heart out in it for the world to read!!  However, the one thing I purposely left out of my Match profile is my Multiple Sclerosis (MS).  Too many people seem to have a preconceived opinion/notions of what it means and how I'll be physically.  It would certainly preclude many from even bothering to get to know me in the first place.  To them I'd be "the chick with MS" not "Kris."  Yes, I only tell people my name is Kris; because if I said Kristyn, it might be too easy for someone to Google me or something.  Crazy but cautious I am. :-)  As I mentioned earlier, me and my potential suitor are planning on talking on the phone this weekend some time.  Again, I fully believe this will go well.  When we meet for lunch later in the week, I absolutely plan on laying it all out on the line for him before things progress any further.  Kind of like ripping the band aid off in one quick yank.  At least this way he will already know the gist of my personality and see for himself how I'm doing physically and how the MS does/does not impact me in the physical sense.  Wish me luck on that one!! :-)

By nature I'm an optimistic and trusting person; which, yes, has gotten me hurt/burned more than once in my lifetime.  But no matter how many times I've been knocked down and kicked in life, I pick myself back up, dust myself off, and go at it again stronger than before.  It is the past that makes us who we are today, and I am very proud of who I have become as a woman and as a human being.  So whether this person is to just drop out of my life in the blink of an eye after I disclose my illness to him, whether we only remain friends afterwards, or whether we decide to go on more dates and continue to get to know each other, only time will tell.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again; what's meant to be will be.  I can't force it and neither can anyone else.

So if I do go on faith, trust, and face value, then so far so good!!!

Wishing you peace, love, and happiness,

Kristyn

"So What's Your Story?"

I have to say, today opened my eyes up to something, and it was quite sobering to say the least.  All this brought on by a simple question, which I could not find a real, deep down, honest answer for.

Earlier in the day my son and I went to a local business expo in our town that involved many different businesses within the surrounding area of which we live.  It was quite family-friendly, as they had a face painter, magician, a clown performing tricks, dancers, and various other performances/showcases for the amusement of the kids in attendance.  My son absolutely loved the face painter, who just so happens to be a parent of one of his cooking classmates.  A small world for sure!  Not only did I meet this woman, but many other business professionals, along with learning about various companies and their services within my local community.  It was a definite success of a morning all around.

Pirate EJ from earlier today!!!

One of the women I met was a local photographer who I previously "met" online via Facebook and her business page.  So through sporadic Facebook posts over the course of the past whoever-knows-how-many months, when I went up to her booth she recognized me from my many Facebook profile pics.  We then proceeded to formally introduce ourselves to each other and introduce our munchkins; I had EJ and she had one of her daughters, "Monkey #2" as she affectionately refers to her as.  It's funny how we "clicked" so quickly, too.  She then went on to ask me "So what's your story?"  For which I shrugged my shoulders and responded I didn't have one, I'm just me.  There really wasn't anything I could come up with.  This, of course, got me thinking the rest of the afternoon:  "Who Am I???"

For the past 4-1/2 years, I've been known as EJ's/Elias' (he goes by both names) mom.

For the past 9+ years, I was known as Ski's wife / Woz's wife.  Those are the 2 nicknames my ex went by with his friends and co-workers.  Of course now we can make that ex-wife. LOL

Before I stopped working due to my Multiple Sclerosis, I worked in the business world from the time I was 16 until the age of 37 as someone's assistant, administrative assistant, secretary, right-hand-person, etc.  

For the past 43-years I've been someone's daughter, granddaughter, sister, and niece.

Someone's cousin for 38 years and sister-in-law for 22 years.

I've been a woman with Multiple Sclerosis for the past (almost) 12-years.

When I get a chance, which is rare, I like to bake, create various birthday/anniversary/occasion cards, even dabble in point-and-shoot photography.  Oh, and we can't forget I'm a sporadic blogger!

Gluten-free cupcakes I made for my 43rd birthday!  I LOVE my pink!!!

Birthday card I made for my friend's daughter.

Smiling for his close up!!!!!!!!

But, still, that doesn't answer who I am, or what my story is.  It's like I'm missing a passion and a direction in my life, which upsets me more than words can say.  I'm a Pisces for crying-out-loud!!!  We're passionate people!!!  We're dreamers!!!  But with all these things I listed above and enjoy doing when I get the chance, there's still something missing; and I can't put my finger on it.  

When I started this blog around the time my ex moved out, I named it "Rediscovering Kristyn" in the hopes that I would find out who I am.  But as we can see by this post, that hasn't happened.  I'm so caught up in everything else going on around me and living my life in a reactive way, that I haven't been proactive in learning who and what I am about.  I'm 43-years old and still have no clue.  I have to admit, I find it quite disheartening to say the least.  Will I ever figure it out?  Will I ever have an answer to the question "So what's your story?"  

I guess that is the million dollar question.  But that leads me to one more question then...If I do figure it all out, do I get the million dollars?!?!?!!!!!  ROFL!!!

Wishing you peace, love, and happiness,

Kristyn

Did I Really Believe It???

As I’m always saying to people, “Age is just a number.”  For me, that has been on my mind a lot this past week with having just celebrated my most recent birthday and more so since having a conversation with someone new I met online and went out with yesterday, Thursday, for the first time.

Last week I celebrated my 43^rd birthday.  Yes, Happy Birthday to me!!!!  I’ve always embraced my age and will proudly admit it to anyone who does ask how old I am.  Yes, there are some days I feel a bit slow or like I have the creeky body of an 83-year old at times, but overall and even with my Multiple Sclerosis, I certainly feel young at heart, young of mind, and young of spirit.  Yet, I do feel like I am an old soul.  Now tell me what kind of sense that makes?!?!!!  LOL!!!  What helps, I think, is that my friends, both IRL (in real life) and online, such as on Facebook, run all ages.  Yet, I feel like I can relate to them all on different levels no matter what their ages may be.  I certainly hope they feel the same way about me. J

So, here I was then confronted with an age issue yesterday.  I honestly admit that it made me stop, really think, and question myself on how much I truly believed in what I'd been saying that “age is just a number.”  I went out on a first date yesterday, which consisted of a very nice, two-hour long lunch.  This then proceeded onto an unplanned trip to the mall to walk around and hang out some more and talk, which lasted yet another two hours.  This was with a man I met via Match.com.  Here I was under the impression he was 10 years older than me, which was already at the far end of the age range I was looking for in regards to meeting someone.  However, after talking during the lunch half of our date, I came to find out he’s actually 15 years older than me.  I have to be honest, that took me by a bit of a surprise.  Between the back and forth e-mails we exchanged and the phone conversations we’d had up to our date, you’d never guess he was the age that he is.  He’s very active with many community projects and activities; and he comes across as having such a young, fun spirit.  But, I have to admit, it still caused me to pause a bit.  I’d never dated anyone more than 4 years older than me from what I remember.  But 15…now that’s a leap I was not expecting.  Was I going to be OK with that?  Granted, it was only our first date, but we really hit it off, or at least I think we did and hope we did, as I’d like to get to know him better as a person.  However, this post is not about the actual date itself; it’s about age and did I believe in what I preached.

Upon thinking about it after the date and then later that evening, I came to the conclusion, that, YES, I did believe in what I’d been saying all along…age IS just a number.  Age is just a superficial representation of who someone is.  Young at heart and young of mind speaks volumes more than any age on the calendar represents.  I know it certainly won’t stop me from accepting another date with this man, should he ask me out again. J

On that note, this old lady needs her beauty sleep!!!  LOL!!!  Off to bed with my head!!!

Wishing you peace, love, and happiness,

Kristyn

Happy 43rd Birthday To Me!!!

Well, at the time I'm starting to type this, there are 36 minutes left to my birthday!  To be completely honest, turning 43 hasn't bothered me one bit.  Because as I see it, like a fine wine I only get better with age. :-)  Really, if you think about it, the alternative would really really suck!!!  LOL!!! 

Happy Birthday To Me!!!!

As this day has been chock full of activity and lots of love from my IRL (in real life) friends and my FB (Facebook) friends who I've made over the past few years and truly cherish, from all across this country and Canada, I didn't allot myself enough time to write a proper birthday blog post.  So, as there is NOTHING SCHEDULED on mine and my son's calendars this weekend, I plan on carving out some time to play catch up on here, as it's been over a week since I last posted.  I truly want to keep up with this blog, but some nights I just need to unwind and relax once my son goes to bed, as 9 times out of 10 I'm having to be up bright and early to my alarm clock the very next morning, even on weekends.  But not tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  WooHoo!!!  Happy Dance time!!!!

One of the topics I want to write about is this whole age thing.  A friend of mine who I've known since middle school turned 43 last week and our other best friend from back then turns 43 next month.  Both of them were lamenting on FB about how old they feel.  To me, age is just a number.  You only feel as old as you allow yourself to, even when battling daily with a debilitating and incurable disease like I do (Multiple Sclerosis).  That blog post may even be a Part 1 of 2 type thing, as it just may lead into one of my favorite sayings of "Sh!t or get off the pot!!!"  I will have to see how that all pans out.

I'm still feeling 40+ and FABULOUS!!!!!!

So on that note, a bid thee adieu.....

Wishing you peace, love, and happiness,

Kristyn

Leap of Faith #1

Hi everyone and thanks for stopping by and reading my little blog.  Whether you're a "regular" or a "newbie," I appreciate each and every one of you for dropping by and reading my ramblings, usually done very late at night, too.  Perfect example, it's now approx. 12:15 a.m. and this probably won't be completed and posted until at least 12:45 a.m.  I've always been a night owl - LOL!!!

Today I took a huge leap of faith for me.  I've always enjoyed baking/making treats as a hobby, really ever since I was a kid and my mom taught Wilton cake decorating.  I'd sit at the table watching her and be amazed at what she was able to create.  Now, 35+ years later, I can even create some of those basic cakes/cupcakes that she was able to accomplish with such ease.  For years and years I didn't really do much cake/cupcake baking/decorating, since I had no reason to.  Yes, I'd make tons of cookies at various holidays/birthdays for family and friends, but that was about it.  But, since the birth of my son, I've had a good excuse to start brushing off my very basic skills; and it's been a ton of fun!!  Plus, along the way, I've made some great online friends in the "cakey bakey" world, as I call it.  They have definitely inspired me to dust off my tips and couplers and get decorating.  So, today, I decided to "put up or shut up" and create my own hobby page on Facebook, called Kristyn's Cakey Bakey Creations, which even includes a new genre of baking/treats I'm getting into, Paleo, as I've given up the gluten since January 2012.  Which means, if you're reading this and frequent Facebook, drop on by and give it/me a "Like."  I can take whatever support I can get, especially since I've never really put myself out there like this before.  It's definitely taken a lot of encouragement from my friends for me to do such a thing.  Yes, I post on my personal Facebook page photos of the occasional item I'd make, but it's never been consolidated like this before and able to be found in one spot for all the world to see.  At least this will give me good incentive to keep up my practicing and a way for me to see my progress.  Like I said, it is just a hobby page, not a business page.  I just bake for my friends, family, and as treats/gifts for my son's teachers and classmates.  Which reminds me, I still need to figure out what I'll be making for Easter as his Spring Break is coming up in a couple of weeks.  Better get cracking!!! 

Chocolate cupcakes with a dense chocolate buttercream icing topped with chocolate shavings and vanilla-flavored chocolate "Love" hearts

BACON and dark chocolate chip cookies - these are Paleo friendly!!!!

If you noticed the title to this post, it says "Leap of Faith #1"  You've now read about that one.  As for #2, that will be happening this coming Wednesday, weather permitting.  Wintry mix stay away!!  I'm having a first date with one of the men I've met through my personals ad on Match.com.  It'll just be a quick lunch while my son is at school.  I swore I wasn't going to do the whole online route for meeting someone, but as the 'ol saying goes...Never say Never!  So, please wish us both luck on this one.  The way our online, text, and especially our telephone conversations have been going, we'll both need it - LOL!!!!

Wishing you peace, love, and happiness,

Kristyn

Huge Curveball

Well, I know it's been over a week since my last post, and I missed out on Motivational Monday in there as well.  I was all set during the day Monday to blog, which I usually do before going to bed.  However, during dinner time I got hit with an INSANELY frustrating, annoying, upsetting, unexpected-yet-not-overly-surprising-in-a-way curveball from my ex.  Here I was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, coming up in about six months; when WHAMMO...back to the drawing board.  So since then I've been trying to process the information that was thrown my way and trying to figure it out.  Being a control freak in regards to my own life, not having a "Plan B," so to speak, has me truly in a tizzy.  All I know is I'm going to need to calm down A LOT more before the next time the ex comes to get our son.  I'm already dealing with an MS-related relapse that snuck up on me over the weekend, so now the stress and aggravation of these past 48 hours is definitely NOT helping the matter any.  I need to figure out a way to calmly (lol) deal with the ex.  Yeah, we just might need a miracle for this one, if not a whole heckuvalot of prayers for me.

So, without going into any details, I'm just going to have to leave it at this for now for this post.  As I start digging out from this roadblock/setback, I can explain in more detail at a later date if it seems fitting.

But, I wanted to at least post and let y'all know I am alive, albeit a bit more beaten up emotionally, spiritually, and even MS-health wise than last time I was here.  But, as grandma would say to me, "this too shall pass."  Grandma turned 93 in January, so I'd say she knows what she's talking about!!!  :-D

Oh, and next time the ex tries to pull another bu!!sh!t move like this, I'll so be better prepared to hit it out of the park!!!!  HOMERUN KRISTYN!!!!

Wishing you peace, love, and happiness,

Kristyn

Motivational Mondays!!!

OK, technically, by the time this post is up and online, it may be just a wee bit after midnight, making it Tuesday...But, hey, I'm on the East Coast so there are people who could definitely be reading this on Monday. :-D  So that's my story and I'm sticking to it - LOL!!!

I found this quote right as I was getting ready to sign off Facebook tonight...

"Unnecessary possessions are unnecessary burdens. If you have them, you have to take care of them! There is great freedom in simplicity of living. It is those who have enough but not too much who are the happiest." - Peace Pilgrim

I've slowly come to understand this quote this past year while I was "Rediscovering Kristyn" (get it..the title of my blog - LOL!!).  I was buying tons of "stuff" to make me happy while being in a very cold, unhappy, unfulfilling, and unloving marriage for at least the last 5 or so years of it.  There was probably so much more I could have done to fulfill those emotional needs during all those empty years:  taken cake decorating classes, photography classes, blogged more, done more fun things with my son, the list is endless.  But those, unfortunately, didn't happen.  Instead, I just chased after what I thought was happiness...material possessions.  I can admit it now, though...oh, how wrong I was on that front.  It makes me CRINGE to think of all the money I pissed away.  I can't even allow myself to go there in my mind.  It literally makes me want to cry. :*(

But, with mine and my son's impending move in the coming six months, I cannot BEGIN to express how EXCITED I am to be getting a dumpster this Spring and starting the "Big Purge Project."  I'm just itching to start tossing and having a garage sale weekend once the warmer weather sets in.  It's not even about how much money I can/will make.  It's about letting go of the past and what all those "things" represent.  I am so looking forward to it and starting mine and EJ's life anew with less physical clutter and a clearer heart, mind, and soul.

And for those of you who are my friends "IRL" and are local to me, I'll have lots of items you may be interested in.  As the saying goes, "one man's junk is another man's treasure."  Just ask my ex's current girlfriend about that one!!!!!!!!!!!!



The ocean...Maine, in particular....My ultimate relaxation place!!

Wishing you peace, love, and happiness,

Kristyn

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!!!  To say it's been a hectic time around here this past week would be an understatement, and it's not even over yet.  But between my son's preschool schedule, errands, family stuff, doctor's appointment, etc., I was able to get in making some treat bags for my son's Junior Wings preschool class today.  We also wrote out Valentine's Day cards together earlier yesterday, but for some reason his didn't get passed out in class today.  I was definitely a bit disappointed in that :-(  However, the treat bags certainly were, and I'm sure that's what the kids really enjoyed the most anyway - LOL!!!

For those that know me, y'all know I LOVE to bake, decorate, and make many chocolate-coated treats and barks for family, friends, and friends-/co-workers-of-friends.  This holiday was no exception!!!  Granted, I do eat Paleo (usually on an 80/20 basis), and serve my son Paleo when he's with me, but I also allow for a few "exceptions" and certainly don't "force feed" my eating habits/choices on others.  Hence, since so many others like sweet treats on special occasions, I do oblige.  With that, I made white chocolate Rice Krispie bark, topped with pink and red sanding sugars, red hearts (think like Sweet Tarts flavored), and those tiny conversation hearts that we all grew up on.  Me, personally, I'm not a big fan of them and never was, but they seem almost "traditional" to me, if you know what I mean, so I included them on the bark.  For the most part I was happy with how the bark came out, but a good amount of the candies fell off when I started breaking up the bark into pieces.  No problem....I just tossed the candies that fell off right into the treat bags with the broken up bark!!  I certainly hope the kids enjoyed it. :-) 

I hope each and every one of you reading this post had an enjoyable Valentine's Day with the one(s) you love.  I had the best Valentine ever this year...my wonderful son, EJ.  You make every day worth living. :-)  Mommy loves you!!! xoxoxo

Wishing you peace, love, and happiness...

Kristyn

Coincidence or Fate

It's funny how life works some days.  Back in January 2012 I started this blog as a way of documenting what I've started to learn about myself since my marriage ended.  My husband at the time moved out in November 2011, and with the new year I wanted to document all the old and new things I'd be rediscovering and learning about myself along the way.  If you look back, I did pretty good up until February of that year, but then life got in the way.  I'd started to learn exactly how hard it was/is to be s 40-something year old single mom (who just so happens to have Multiple Sclerosis for over a decade now)  to a young son.  For the record, I will be 43 this coming March, my son will be 4 1/2, and July will mark 12 years since my MS diagnosis..  Yes, I admit my age, and am damn proud of it, too!!!!  Doesn't hurt that I've been told many times that I look much younger than my age!!! :-D

So this brings me to the title for this post.  Just so turns out that my last blog post was on February 12, 2012, and today is now February 12, 2013.   This WAS NOT planned AT ALL.  My laptop screen crapped out on me in Novembe 2012, and it was only now that I was able to buy myself a brand spanking-new laptop.  I ordered it at one Best Buy in Jersey yesterday while out with my son and parents, but they didn't have it in stock.  However, the Best Buy closer to me had it, so I was able to pick it up today...February 12th.  I'd been itching like crazy to start blogging again, so I knew I just HAD TO do a reintroduction post tonight.  That's when I realized it'd been exactly one year since that last post.

With that, I ask you, was this just a mere coincidence or was it fate?  I'll let you decide for yourself, but I know in my heart what I believe it is....

I've learned a great deal about myself this past year, and I'm sure you'll be reading about these discoveries in the coming posts in the days, weeks, and months ahead.  One thing I can confidently and whole-heartedly share with you is that I'm FINALLY at a complete, inner peace with myself and my life.  I can't explain it, but it is an indescribably serene feeling within.  By not means is my life perfect; and, yes, there were and are those crazy, stressed-out days/situations, but at the heart of me, I'm still at peace.  When something happens and I get in the WTF kind of mind set; I just step back, look at the situation, and ask myself "Will this really matter 5 years from now?"  I'd say 95% of the time, the answer was and is "No."  When it was "Yes," it had to deal with parenting problems with my son's father, and the repercussions of bad decisions that could potentially affect my son emotionally and last for years in the long run.  Then the "Momma Bear" comes out in me and she shows her claws.  No doubt about that one!!!

With all this, I'd like to say a sincere thank you for reading this post.  As I have no photos downloaded yet onto this system, I don't have much I can add to this post to make it look pretty or to show newer, more up-to-date photos of me and EJ.  Although if you're "Friends" with me on FaceBook, you definitely see our mugs all the time :-).  But, I'll definitely be spending time this weekend getting my system in a more working order.  Doesn't help that I'm also trying to figure out this new Windows 8 system.  Techie I am not, so this may take a while - LOL!!!  So if any of you have suggestions/advice/tips on the new system, please feel free to share!!

And on that note, I wish you...

Peace, Love, and Happiness :-)

Kristyn