You Have A Say!!! Let Me Know Your Choice!!!

Hello to everyone reading this!!! 

I need a favor.  I have a few different topics I've been wanting to blog about for the past week or so that are currently going on in my life.  However, I can't decide on which one to write about first.  This is where you guys and gals come into play.  I'm leaving the decision up to YOU, my readers!!  Plus, it'll give me a chance to see if anyone is really reading and enjoying my weekly musings on my life anyway. LOL  So, without further ado, here are the three choices, in no particular order:

1.  A follow up to my Fireworks vs. Sparks post earlier this month.

2.  My point of view on a somewhat recent what-seems-to-be controversial holiday topic.  

3.  The meaning behind my "Three Dates, Three Months, 30,000 Miles" dating philosophy. 

Please, please, pretty please vote away by leaving a comment below, or you can leave a remark on my Facebook page, for those of you who know me on there! :-)  The topic with the highest amount of votes is what I'll blog about later this week after the Christmas holiday.  Then, I'll work my way through the remaining two topics in the coming weeks, along with any other new topics that inspire me.  Sound good?

I can't wait to see what y'all choose!!!

Wishing you peace, love, and happiness,


Kristyn

FIREWORKS vs. SPARKS

As some of you may or may not know, I’ve been a single woman for a little over 2 years now after the demise of a marriage that lasted a little less than 9 years.  It wasn’t until February this year that I felt that I was ready to get back out into the dating arena.  Yeah, a scary thought for a 40-something year old single mom…let alone one who has the added “bonus” of having Multiple Sclerosis.  But, hey, who was I to let all of that stop me?!?!!!

I was contacted by a man on Match.com about a month or so ago who had in his profile, amongst many other things, that he was looking for fireworks, which on the surface is totally understandable.  Who doesn’t want to have that initial “connection” with someone?  As superficial as it may seem, we all want to have that undeniable physical attraction with a potential partner.  No, that doesn’t have to mean you’re (or me in particular) jumping into bed on the first date, either.  Although those thoughts may be swirling around in your head the entire date if/when you experience them. ;-)  I, at least, have a bit more self-respect than that, no matter how intense the initial attraction may be!!

This man and I then had some back-and-forth messages via Match, and then we started texting and talking on the phone, along with some subsequent dates thereafter.  He asked what I was looking for, and after some thought, I told him it wasn’t fireworks.  I wanted more than that.  From his reaction, I could tell he was a bit confused…what could be more than fireworks?  Think about fireworks for a minute, though.  Yes, they can be extravagant, mind-blowing, beautiful, exciting, a myriad of reactions and emotions.  But what do all fireworks have in common?  After that initial big “bang,” they slowly fall from the sky, fizzle out, and die.  Talk about a letdown after being so worked up.  That’s not what I want.  What I want are……

SPARKS!!!  Sparks, you may wonder.  Think about sparks, though.  Sparks can ignite a fire.  Think about something as simple as a campfire.  That spark from a match (or rubbing flint together if you’re so inclined!!  lol)  will light tinder, which in turn lights the logs of the campfire.  That tiny little campfire, if tended to carefully, can then turn itself into a fun and beautiful bonfire.  If you’ve ever been to a bonfire, those babies can get really HOT.  But, that bonfire could then set off a brush fire, which in turn can grow even bigger, with even more INTENSE flames which can then grow itself into a full-blown BLAZING forest fire, and that in turn can ignite into all-encompassing and SCORCHING wild fire.  Now, yes, in actuality forest fires and wild fires are NOT a good thing by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s a metaphor here, everyone, so just go with it!!  LOL  I think you get where I’m going with this, though.  That initial spark you feel for someone can grow into something glorious, larger than life, more than ANYTHING you could have ever hoped for or even imagined.  I’m not only talking in the physical and/or sexual sense, either.  I want a man who also sparks my mind, someone who will make me think, make me question ideas and beliefs that I’ve had over the years.  They may or may not change, but at least they would have been re-evaulated and looked at in a different light.  Someone who will make me ponder what I truly want out of my life.  He must also spark my soul on a deeper, more meaningful level in regards to what I hold near and dear to me at the core of my being, that part that makes me "me" and unlike anyone else.  So I have asked myself this (obviously!!  LOL), and I’ll ask it of you, my dear blog readers…Why do we limit ourselves, our dreams, and our desires in what we want and get out of this life?  I won't this time around.  I can't.  One thing you learn when you have Multiple Sclerosis, or any other incurable disease for that matter, is that life really is short.  Love every minute of it that you can.

So, yes, I don’t want fireworks that will fizzle out pretty quickly.  Well, OK, yes, there ARE certain times when I do WANT and NEED those mind-blowing fireworks, if you know what I mean!! ;-)  Along with their own added health and overall well-being benefits, of course. :-)  But, when I meet a man, I want a spark that can ignite into something bigger than what either of us could have ever imagined.  Isn’t that what we all really want out of a life partner?  I’ve limited by dreams in the past and look where it got me.  I deserve more.  I deserve someone who will feed my mind, body, and soul.  Don't you?

Until next time…

Wishing you peace, love, and happiness,

Kristyn

PS - If you like what you've read here or in other posts I've done, please feel free to leave a comment below and/or become a "Member" of my blog, by clicking on the appropriate area on the right-hand side of this page.  I appreciate any and all feedback and support.  Thank you! :-)

Damn!! It's Been A While....

Wow, I knew it'd been a while since I last blogged, but I didn't realize it'd been sooooo long.  Guess that's what happens when one is trying to rediscover herself. LOL

As for a quick update on that older gentleman I wrote about in March, that was incredibly short lived. The whole misrepresenting himself online about his age really did not sit well with me, at all.  The main reason my marriage broke up was because of my ex's lies to me for all those years, so why would I even want to consider dating someone who started out the whole thing with an outright lie.  Plus, for a man who was 59 years old, he didn't have the self confidence or self assured manner about himself that one should have by that age.  Me and my much stronger personality would have chewed him up in no time flat.  So, yeah, that one never got off the ground.

Since then, I've corresponded with a few other guys on Match, but didn't get to meet any of them.  One looked promising...great texts, a wonderful phone conversation, and then BAM...basically dropped off the face of the earth overnight.  About a week after he stopped texting back/calling, I noticed he changed the area where he lived on his Match profile.  Then, not even a week later he took down his profile.  So, he was either lying to me or he found someone.  Either way, oh well...his loss.  We know I'm not about chasing after anyone.  Not my style.  If the person wants to be with me and/or if it was meant to be, it will be.

For the past month I've been messaging via Match and now texting another gentleman.  Again, this looks promising.  Much more promising than any of the others, by far.  Scarily so, actually, but in a good way. LOL  There seems to be many similarities in our personalities and interests to begin with, not to mention senses of humor.  He's almost like the male version of me...YIKES!!!  Now THAT is scary!! :-D  No, we haven't spoken on the phone yet, but that is planned for within the next couple of days when both our schedules clear up.  With both of us being single parents, of which he has sole custody of his child, we need to prioritize around the schedules of our little ones as well as our own calendars.  Tricky but do-able I'm sure.  Then, we're also planning on meeting for lunch later this week.  If the texts are any indication of how our phone conversation will go, I do not think we'll be lacking for conversation AT ALL.  I have a setting on my phone that will hang onto 100 texts before it starts automatically deleting them message-by-message.  In approximately 3 hours time tonight, we sent over 100 messages; and we'd been texting back and forth/off and on all day so I can only imagine what the final total for today was!!  Good thing I have unlimited texting on my phone!!!  Keep in mind, this wasn't our first day texting each other, either.  Yes, it's the whole getting-to-know-someone phase, but still.  That's a dang lot of texts!!! LOL  This all has me quite optimistic.  However......

Yes, there is, unfortunately, a however/but in all of this.  Everything I have in my Match profile and everything I've told this man is 100% true.  As most everyone knows about me, I believe in being upfront and honest, and my life is an open book.  Heck, I write a blog and pour my heart out in it for the world to read!!  However, the one thing I purposely left out of my Match profile is my Multiple Sclerosis (MS).  Too many people seem to have a preconceived opinion/notions of what it means and how I'll be physically.  It would certainly preclude many from even bothering to get to know me in the first place.  To them I'd be "the chick with MS" not "Kris."  Yes, I only tell people my name is Kris; because if I said Kristyn, it might be too easy for someone to Google me or something.  Crazy but cautious I am. :-)  As I mentioned earlier, me and my potential suitor are planning on talking on the phone this weekend some time.  Again, I fully believe this will go well.  When we meet for lunch later in the week, I absolutely plan on laying it all out on the line for him before things progress any further.  Kind of like ripping the band aid off in one quick yank.  At least this way he will already know the gist of my personality and see for himself how I'm doing physically and how the MS does/does not impact me in the physical sense.  Wish me luck on that one!! :-)

By nature I'm an optimistic and trusting person; which, yes, has gotten me hurt/burned more than once in my lifetime.  But no matter how many times I've been knocked down and kicked in life, I pick myself back up, dust myself off, and go at it again stronger than before.  It is the past that makes us who we are today, and I am very proud of who I have become as a woman and as a human being.  So whether this person is to just drop out of my life in the blink of an eye after I disclose my illness to him, whether we only remain friends afterwards, or whether we decide to go on more dates and continue to get to know each other, only time will tell.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again; what's meant to be will be.  I can't force it and neither can anyone else.

So if I do go on faith, trust, and face value, then so far so good!!!

Wishing you peace, love, and happiness,

Kristyn

Did I Really Believe It???

As I’m always saying to people, “Age is just a number.”  For me, that has been on my mind a lot this past week with having just celebrated my most recent birthday and more so since having a conversation with someone new I met online and went out with yesterday, Thursday, for the first time.

Last week I celebrated my 43^rd birthday.  Yes, Happy Birthday to me!!!!  I’ve always embraced my age and will proudly admit it to anyone who does ask how old I am.  Yes, there are some days I feel a bit slow or like I have the creeky body of an 83-year old at times, but overall and even with my Multiple Sclerosis, I certainly feel young at heart, young of mind, and young of spirit.  Yet, I do feel like I am an old soul.  Now tell me what kind of sense that makes?!?!!!  LOL!!!  What helps, I think, is that my friends, both IRL (in real life) and online, such as on Facebook, run all ages.  Yet, I feel like I can relate to them all on different levels no matter what their ages may be.  I certainly hope they feel the same way about me. J

So, here I was then confronted with an age issue yesterday.  I honestly admit that it made me stop, really think, and question myself on how much I truly believed in what I'd been saying that “age is just a number.”  I went out on a first date yesterday, which consisted of a very nice, two-hour long lunch.  This then proceeded onto an unplanned trip to the mall to walk around and hang out some more and talk, which lasted yet another two hours.  This was with a man I met via Match.com.  Here I was under the impression he was 10 years older than me, which was already at the far end of the age range I was looking for in regards to meeting someone.  However, after talking during the lunch half of our date, I came to find out he’s actually 15 years older than me.  I have to be honest, that took me by a bit of a surprise.  Between the back and forth e-mails we exchanged and the phone conversations we’d had up to our date, you’d never guess he was the age that he is.  He’s very active with many community projects and activities; and he comes across as having such a young, fun spirit.  But, I have to admit, it still caused me to pause a bit.  I’d never dated anyone more than 4 years older than me from what I remember.  But 15…now that’s a leap I was not expecting.  Was I going to be OK with that?  Granted, it was only our first date, but we really hit it off, or at least I think we did and hope we did, as I’d like to get to know him better as a person.  However, this post is not about the actual date itself; it’s about age and did I believe in what I preached.

Upon thinking about it after the date and then later that evening, I came to the conclusion, that, YES, I did believe in what I’d been saying all along…age IS just a number.  Age is just a superficial representation of who someone is.  Young at heart and young of mind speaks volumes more than any age on the calendar represents.  I know it certainly won’t stop me from accepting another date with this man, should he ask me out again. J

On that note, this old lady needs her beauty sleep!!!  LOL!!!  Off to bed with my head!!!

Wishing you peace, love, and happiness,

Kristyn