And the winner is……..

The fans have spoken, and the winner of last week’s “pick the next topic” question, was:

2.  My point of view on a somewhat recent what-seems-to-be controversial holiday topic.  

So, what was the holiday controversy I was alluding to?  I’d seen this topic on a few Facebook pages, and I even chimed in on one of these conversations/arguments.  People seemed to have gotten their panties/boxers all in a twist over the recent Kmart Jingle Bells Joe Boxer ad.  If you haven’t seen it, here is a Youtube link for your viewing.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSO3Rv6GLqQ

 I, personally, found it to be quite clever and tongue-in-cheek.  What those who were upset with it were saying/arguing is that it was either disgusting, lewd, inappropriate, and/or various other adjectives.  Or, they were wondering how to explain it to their children.  The other objection was that it was played over and over while watching children’s Christmas/Holiday shows while the kids were awake and watching TV with them.  Let me break down my view on all of this.  Again, this is my own, personal opinion on the subject...obviously!!!

In regards to the various negative adjectives used to describe the commercial, if you didn’t like it, you simply could have switched the channel.  Easy Peasey!!   No one was forcing you to watch it.  If you didn’t like it or didn't want your kids to watch it, this is a country of free will.  You should have turned on something you did approve of for the 30-60 seconds the commercial was on.  If you didn’t switch it off, maybe you didn’t mind it so much after all. ;-)  Just saying….

OK, the explaining of the commercial to your kids concern, of course it would need to be put in age appropriate terms.  But, from my own personal experience when my 5-year old son happened to see it, he just thought the guys were shaking their butts, and he proceeded to copy them.  That boy sure does love to shake his booty!!!   Now, to me, that would have been the easiest thing to explain to both boys and girls, especially if/when the full commercial was shown with the men ringing the bells behind the table at the very beginning.  Once that table slides over, anyone thinking it’s something else ringing just has a plain ‘ol dirty mind!!! :D  No doubt the teenage girls were giggling, but that’s a whole other topic.  Apparently the apple didn’t fall far from the tree if mom was still watching the commercial, too.  However, if that first part of the commercial is missed where the men are behind the draped table, even if the child knows about male anatomy, we all know testicles don’t ring like bells, so why couldn’t the concerned adult have explained it as the men shaking their butts in time to the music, just as if they were dancing?  A simple and truthful explanation.  Certainly more honest than the concept of men's anatomy actually ringing out Jingle Bells...And notice, it's Jingle Bells NOT Jingle Balls!!!

Finally the showing of the commercial during Christmas/Holiday movie viewing time.  Once or twice would have been fine and gotten Kmarts name/sales info out there.  Overkill is overkill, no matter what the commercial is, though.   I may have personally enjoyed seeing all that eye candy (it's healthier and calorie free after all!!!), but enough was enough when it was on every 15 minutes for hours on end.  However, in the end, I don’t blame Kmart for that decision; and is also why I was annoyed when people were stating they would boycott Kmart because of the ad and it even being shown on TV.  For me, this commercial was borderline genius and accomplished what Kmart set out to do….get their name out there during the holidays to drum up business.  My answer to those objections about the frequency and timing of the commercial was if you didn’t like the commercial being on during family viewing hours, take that up with the station you were watching.  They are the ones who make the programming decisions.  They are the ones who decided to take Kmart’s money and to run the ads as much as they did.  They could have said no to Kmart and no to the money.  They could have decided to not play the commercial.  So if you have a problem with when/how much that commercial was on, take it up with the various stations you were all watching.  But don’t blame Kmart.   In the end, it’s not their fault.

So what do you think of my first-ever controversial blog topic?  Should I do more in the future?  Let me hear your thoughts and suggestions!!

Now that the holidays are just about over with New Year’s Eve quickly approaching, let me take this time now to thank everyone for reading my blog and getting a glimpse inside the complex workings of my mind.  I really do appreciate your time and any/all feedback you’ve given over the months.  There will be much more to come in the New Year, don’t you worry!!!  One of my new posts will be the topic that got the 2^nd highest amount of votes, my “Three Dates, Three Months, 30,000 miles” dating philosophy.  I had a close, long-time male friend of mine comment about it on my Facebook page, who also happens to have experienced this philosophy first hand with me.  As we were commenting back and forth on it, I realized I need to dedicate one whole blog post to him. – LOL!!!  We’re talking about a history that goes back to when we met on my 15^th birthday.  To put that into perspective, I will be 44 years old this coming March...we'll be hitting 29 years of us knowing each other!!!  It’s been a long and crazy, up-and-down roller coaster ride for the two of us to say the least!!!

So, until next time….

Wishing you peace, love, happiness, and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Kristyn  

You Have A Say!!! Let Me Know Your Choice!!!

Hello to everyone reading this!!! 

I need a favor.  I have a few different topics I've been wanting to blog about for the past week or so that are currently going on in my life.  However, I can't decide on which one to write about first.  This is where you guys and gals come into play.  I'm leaving the decision up to YOU, my readers!!  Plus, it'll give me a chance to see if anyone is really reading and enjoying my weekly musings on my life anyway. LOL  So, without further ado, here are the three choices, in no particular order:

1.  A follow up to my Fireworks vs. Sparks post earlier this month.

2.  My point of view on a somewhat recent what-seems-to-be controversial holiday topic.  

3.  The meaning behind my "Three Dates, Three Months, 30,000 Miles" dating philosophy. 

Please, please, pretty please vote away by leaving a comment below, or you can leave a remark on my Facebook page, for those of you who know me on there! :-)  The topic with the highest amount of votes is what I'll blog about later this week after the Christmas holiday.  Then, I'll work my way through the remaining two topics in the coming weeks, along with any other new topics that inspire me.  Sound good?

I can't wait to see what y'all choose!!!

Wishing you peace, love, and happiness,


Kristyn

The Blessing of An Unbreakable Bond

This post is dedicated to all my September 2008 WTE moms...You know who you are!! 

Back on New Year’s Eve day of 2007, I found out I was pregnant with my son, who would then be born in September 2008.   As I had just recently lost a pregnancy due to it being ectopic, my guard was understandably up; and I was being a tad bit cautious about announcing this new pregnancy to anyone.   Throughout those first few months, I had found a board on the website What To Expect When You’re Expecting  (WTE) for moms who were due to give birth in September 2008, as I was.  After I had successfully made it through the first trimester, I started participating in the discussions that were going on with these other women.  I started slowly at first as I was still a bit trepidatious, and I knew that I was one of the older moms on there as I had turned 38 during that first trimester.  The majority of the moms were in their early 20s.  However, just as when you meet people in real life (as opposed to via the internet), you instantly click with some.  As those online friendships grew for me and I got to feel more comfortable on the WTE September 2008 board, even more friendships took shape.  So, during that time while we were all pregnant we shared our ups and downs of our varying pregnancy symptoms/issues, our lives, shared our laughter, pain, and tears; and then slowly one by one we started having our babies.  Some were early, some were late, and others were right on time.  But one by one they came into this world and we celebrated and cheered our way through them all.

Even after having our babies, we kept the board going on WTE, but slowly we weren’t participating as actively as we once were.  We all had our newborns to take care of…feedings, poopy blowout diapers, sleep deprivation, babies getting their first fevers or sicknesses.  One thing we noticed, though, was that many of us were already on or had just recently joined Facebook.  We collectively started exchanging our email addresses/names, as up until that point we’d only been known by our online WTE board names, I was MommaSki845, and the Friend Requests slowly started happening on Facebook.  Over time we set up a few different, separate WTE September 2008 groups, all of which we made sure were Private, on Facebook.  Moms came and went over time, especially in those first few years, and we consolidated those initial boards down to one, and even now there is still an amazing group of 77 of us mommas who keep in touch with each other.  We still laugh and cry together online, we vent, we celebrate, basically we act just as any other group of close girlfriends would.  There have been spats, heated arguments, and hurt feelings along the way (of which even I was involved in), just as would happen with your girlfriends who you regularly see and hang out with.  One thing that we’ve been great about, though, is agreeing to disagree and respecting others views and decisions even if we didn’t personally agree with them. We all know how catty and competitive women can get with each other, but somehow we’ve managed to rise above all that, which has helped our bond grow even stronger over these past six years. 

Yep, it’s been just about six whole years since this group of beautiful, amazing, and supportive women became friends.  A handful of the moms have actually met each other in person, but the majority of us haven’t, as much as we’d LOVE to.  We span the entire United States, Canada, and other countries along the way for those moms who are military spouses or involved in the military overseas some way or another.   Despite those miles between us, we are there for each other emotionally and in spirit.  It’s a truly indescribable feeling to have knowing that there are individuals out there who truly care about you in good times and bad.  That’s what brings me to what in particular inspired this post.

One of our mommas is in the beginning stages of a divorce.  As someone whose marriage ended a few years ago right around this same time of year, I can relate in many ways to what she’s going through.   Just as we’ve all bared our souls to our fellow September 2008 WTE moms along the way over the years, she was really depressed, as frequently happens with many people during the holiday/Christmas season.  She wasn’t prepared for the divorce to be happening, her soon-to-be ex is being a douche, and she was feeling dejected and incredibly sad that she wouldn’t be able to give her two boys a “real” Christmas/gifts from Santa, despite her now having gone back to work with super long hours just so she can start over and be able to provide a new life for her boys.  She is such a sweet woman and has been so supportive to many of us over the years.  She just wanted to vent and she knows she can say whatever she wants to safely and without being judged or criticized.  She wasn’t looking for anything other than the emotional support that we’re known for showing each other.  So, having this incredibly unique and strong bond that I spoke of earlier among all of us ladies, one of the moms set up a separate group on Facebook, which at least a quarter of us have joined in on now, and we plan on sending her and her boys some presents and good cheer for Christmas.  This isn’t the first time we’ve come together to help out one of our moms and children who’ve been down on their luck during the holidays, either.  It’s what we love to do in whatever ways we can, and it all stems from us meeting six years ago on that one What To Expect September 2008 pregnancy board. 

This is a bond that is hard to explain to others in the “outside world,” as it truly is unique in its nature.  It’s a bond I feel incredibly blessed to have in my own life.  We may never have the opportunity to all meet up in person, but I know that no matter what, they have my back.  Maybe not physically/in person, but I know they are there for me emotionally and spiritually whenever I need them.  Heck, I’ve had to call on them for many a prayer, positive vibes, and good juju when my mom was in the hospital a few times and was going through some different, potentially life-threatening issues.  So, no, they may not be here to give me a physical hug, but they are there online when I need them and always in my heart.  I found this saying recently that I thought was very fitting for all of us: 

Closeness isn’t always measured in distance,

Friends can live many miles away,

But the bond of love formed long ago

Always keeps them close at heart.

I love you, my WTE September 2008 mommas, and thank you for always being there for me and my son. :-)

Wishing you all peace, love, and happiness,


Kristyn

FIREWORKS vs. SPARKS

As some of you may or may not know, I’ve been a single woman for a little over 2 years now after the demise of a marriage that lasted a little less than 9 years.  It wasn’t until February this year that I felt that I was ready to get back out into the dating arena.  Yeah, a scary thought for a 40-something year old single mom…let alone one who has the added “bonus” of having Multiple Sclerosis.  But, hey, who was I to let all of that stop me?!?!!!

I was contacted by a man on Match.com about a month or so ago who had in his profile, amongst many other things, that he was looking for fireworks, which on the surface is totally understandable.  Who doesn’t want to have that initial “connection” with someone?  As superficial as it may seem, we all want to have that undeniable physical attraction with a potential partner.  No, that doesn’t have to mean you’re (or me in particular) jumping into bed on the first date, either.  Although those thoughts may be swirling around in your head the entire date if/when you experience them. ;-)  I, at least, have a bit more self-respect than that, no matter how intense the initial attraction may be!!

This man and I then had some back-and-forth messages via Match, and then we started texting and talking on the phone, along with some subsequent dates thereafter.  He asked what I was looking for, and after some thought, I told him it wasn’t fireworks.  I wanted more than that.  From his reaction, I could tell he was a bit confused…what could be more than fireworks?  Think about fireworks for a minute, though.  Yes, they can be extravagant, mind-blowing, beautiful, exciting, a myriad of reactions and emotions.  But what do all fireworks have in common?  After that initial big “bang,” they slowly fall from the sky, fizzle out, and die.  Talk about a letdown after being so worked up.  That’s not what I want.  What I want are……

SPARKS!!!  Sparks, you may wonder.  Think about sparks, though.  Sparks can ignite a fire.  Think about something as simple as a campfire.  That spark from a match (or rubbing flint together if you’re so inclined!!  lol)  will light tinder, which in turn lights the logs of the campfire.  That tiny little campfire, if tended to carefully, can then turn itself into a fun and beautiful bonfire.  If you’ve ever been to a bonfire, those babies can get really HOT.  But, that bonfire could then set off a brush fire, which in turn can grow even bigger, with even more INTENSE flames which can then grow itself into a full-blown BLAZING forest fire, and that in turn can ignite into all-encompassing and SCORCHING wild fire.  Now, yes, in actuality forest fires and wild fires are NOT a good thing by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s a metaphor here, everyone, so just go with it!!  LOL  I think you get where I’m going with this, though.  That initial spark you feel for someone can grow into something glorious, larger than life, more than ANYTHING you could have ever hoped for or even imagined.  I’m not only talking in the physical and/or sexual sense, either.  I want a man who also sparks my mind, someone who will make me think, make me question ideas and beliefs that I’ve had over the years.  They may or may not change, but at least they would have been re-evaulated and looked at in a different light.  Someone who will make me ponder what I truly want out of my life.  He must also spark my soul on a deeper, more meaningful level in regards to what I hold near and dear to me at the core of my being, that part that makes me "me" and unlike anyone else.  So I have asked myself this (obviously!!  LOL), and I’ll ask it of you, my dear blog readers…Why do we limit ourselves, our dreams, and our desires in what we want and get out of this life?  I won't this time around.  I can't.  One thing you learn when you have Multiple Sclerosis, or any other incurable disease for that matter, is that life really is short.  Love every minute of it that you can.

So, yes, I don’t want fireworks that will fizzle out pretty quickly.  Well, OK, yes, there ARE certain times when I do WANT and NEED those mind-blowing fireworks, if you know what I mean!! ;-)  Along with their own added health and overall well-being benefits, of course. :-)  But, when I meet a man, I want a spark that can ignite into something bigger than what either of us could have ever imagined.  Isn’t that what we all really want out of a life partner?  I’ve limited by dreams in the past and look where it got me.  I deserve more.  I deserve someone who will feed my mind, body, and soul.  Don't you?

Until next time…

Wishing you peace, love, and happiness,

Kristyn

PS - If you like what you've read here or in other posts I've done, please feel free to leave a comment below and/or become a "Member" of my blog, by clicking on the appropriate area on the right-hand side of this page.  I appreciate any and all feedback and support.  Thank you! :-)

Damn!! It's Been A While....

Wow, I knew it'd been a while since I last blogged, but I didn't realize it'd been sooooo long.  Guess that's what happens when one is trying to rediscover herself. LOL

As for a quick update on that older gentleman I wrote about in March, that was incredibly short lived. The whole misrepresenting himself online about his age really did not sit well with me, at all.  The main reason my marriage broke up was because of my ex's lies to me for all those years, so why would I even want to consider dating someone who started out the whole thing with an outright lie.  Plus, for a man who was 59 years old, he didn't have the self confidence or self assured manner about himself that one should have by that age.  Me and my much stronger personality would have chewed him up in no time flat.  So, yeah, that one never got off the ground.

Since then, I've corresponded with a few other guys on Match, but didn't get to meet any of them.  One looked promising...great texts, a wonderful phone conversation, and then BAM...basically dropped off the face of the earth overnight.  About a week after he stopped texting back/calling, I noticed he changed the area where he lived on his Match profile.  Then, not even a week later he took down his profile.  So, he was either lying to me or he found someone.  Either way, oh well...his loss.  We know I'm not about chasing after anyone.  Not my style.  If the person wants to be with me and/or if it was meant to be, it will be.

For the past month I've been messaging via Match and now texting another gentleman.  Again, this looks promising.  Much more promising than any of the others, by far.  Scarily so, actually, but in a good way. LOL  There seems to be many similarities in our personalities and interests to begin with, not to mention senses of humor.  He's almost like the male version of me...YIKES!!!  Now THAT is scary!! :-D  No, we haven't spoken on the phone yet, but that is planned for within the next couple of days when both our schedules clear up.  With both of us being single parents, of which he has sole custody of his child, we need to prioritize around the schedules of our little ones as well as our own calendars.  Tricky but do-able I'm sure.  Then, we're also planning on meeting for lunch later this week.  If the texts are any indication of how our phone conversation will go, I do not think we'll be lacking for conversation AT ALL.  I have a setting on my phone that will hang onto 100 texts before it starts automatically deleting them message-by-message.  In approximately 3 hours time tonight, we sent over 100 messages; and we'd been texting back and forth/off and on all day so I can only imagine what the final total for today was!!  Good thing I have unlimited texting on my phone!!!  Keep in mind, this wasn't our first day texting each other, either.  Yes, it's the whole getting-to-know-someone phase, but still.  That's a dang lot of texts!!! LOL  This all has me quite optimistic.  However......

Yes, there is, unfortunately, a however/but in all of this.  Everything I have in my Match profile and everything I've told this man is 100% true.  As most everyone knows about me, I believe in being upfront and honest, and my life is an open book.  Heck, I write a blog and pour my heart out in it for the world to read!!  However, the one thing I purposely left out of my Match profile is my Multiple Sclerosis (MS).  Too many people seem to have a preconceived opinion/notions of what it means and how I'll be physically.  It would certainly preclude many from even bothering to get to know me in the first place.  To them I'd be "the chick with MS" not "Kris."  Yes, I only tell people my name is Kris; because if I said Kristyn, it might be too easy for someone to Google me or something.  Crazy but cautious I am. :-)  As I mentioned earlier, me and my potential suitor are planning on talking on the phone this weekend some time.  Again, I fully believe this will go well.  When we meet for lunch later in the week, I absolutely plan on laying it all out on the line for him before things progress any further.  Kind of like ripping the band aid off in one quick yank.  At least this way he will already know the gist of my personality and see for himself how I'm doing physically and how the MS does/does not impact me in the physical sense.  Wish me luck on that one!! :-)

By nature I'm an optimistic and trusting person; which, yes, has gotten me hurt/burned more than once in my lifetime.  But no matter how many times I've been knocked down and kicked in life, I pick myself back up, dust myself off, and go at it again stronger than before.  It is the past that makes us who we are today, and I am very proud of who I have become as a woman and as a human being.  So whether this person is to just drop out of my life in the blink of an eye after I disclose my illness to him, whether we only remain friends afterwards, or whether we decide to go on more dates and continue to get to know each other, only time will tell.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again; what's meant to be will be.  I can't force it and neither can anyone else.

So if I do go on faith, trust, and face value, then so far so good!!!

Wishing you peace, love, and happiness,

Kristyn