As some of you may or may not know, I’ve been a single woman for a little over 2 years now after the demise of a marriage that lasted a little less than 9 years. It wasn’t until February this year that I felt that I was ready to get back out into the dating arena. Yeah, a scary thought for a 40-something year old single mom…let alone one who has the added “bonus” of having Multiple Sclerosis. But, hey, who was I to let all of that stop me?!?!!!
I was contacted by a man on Match.com about a month or so ago who had in his profile, amongst many other things, that he was looking for fireworks, which on the surface is totally understandable. Who doesn’t want to have that initial “connection” with someone? As superficial as it may seem, we all want to have that undeniable physical attraction with a potential partner. No, that doesn’t have to mean you’re (or me in particular) jumping into bed on the first date, either. Although those thoughts may be swirling around in your head the entire date if/when you experience them. ;-) I, at least, have a bit more self-respect than that, no matter how intense the initial attraction may be!!
This man and I then had some back-and-forth messages via Match, and then we started texting and talking on the phone, along with some subsequent dates thereafter. He asked what I was looking for, and after some thought, I told him it wasn’t fireworks. I wanted more than that. From his reaction, I could tell he was a bit confused…what could be more than fireworks? Think about fireworks for a minute, though. Yes, they can be extravagant, mind-blowing, beautiful, exciting, a myriad of reactions and emotions. But what do all fireworks have in common? After that initial big “bang,” they slowly fall from the sky, fizzle out, and die. Talk about a letdown after being so worked up. That’s not what I want. What I want are……
SPARKS!!! Sparks, you may wonder. Think about sparks, though. Sparks can ignite a fire. Think about something as simple as a campfire. That spark from a match (or rubbing flint together if you’re so inclined!! lol) will light tinder, which in turn lights the logs of the campfire. That tiny little campfire, if tended to carefully, can then turn itself into a fun and beautiful bonfire. If you’ve ever been to a bonfire, those babies can get really HOT. But, that bonfire could then set off a brush fire, which in turn can grow even bigger, with even more INTENSE flames which can then grow itself into a full-blown BLAZING forest fire, and that in turn can ignite into all-encompassing and SCORCHING wild fire. Now, yes, in actuality forest fires and wild fires are NOT a good thing by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s a metaphor here, everyone, so just go with it!! LOL I think you get where I’m going with this, though. That initial spark you feel for someone can grow into something glorious, larger than life, more than ANYTHING you could have ever hoped for or even imagined. I’m not only talking in the physical and/or sexual sense, either. I want a man who also sparks my mind, someone who will make me think, make me question ideas and beliefs that I’ve had over the years. They may or may not change, but at least they would have been re-evaulated and looked at in a different light. Someone who will make me ponder what I truly want out of my life. He must also spark my soul on a deeper, more meaningful level in regards to what I hold near and dear to me at the core of my being, that part that makes me "me" and unlike anyone else. So I have asked myself this (obviously!! LOL), and I’ll ask it of you, my dear blog readers…Why do we limit ourselves, our dreams, and our desires in what we want and get out of this life? I won't this time around. I can't. One thing you learn when you have Multiple Sclerosis, or any other incurable disease for that matter, is that life really is short. Love every minute of it that you can.
So, yes, I don’t want fireworks that will fizzle out pretty quickly. Well, OK, yes, there ARE certain times when I do WANT and NEED those mind-blowing fireworks, if you know what I mean!! ;-) Along with their own added health and overall well-being benefits, of course. :-) But, when I meet a man, I want a spark that can ignite into something bigger than what either of us could have ever imagined. Isn’t that what we all really want out of a life partner? I’ve limited by dreams in the past and look where it got me. I deserve more. I deserve someone who will feed my mind, body, and soul. Don't you?
Until next time…
Wishing you peace, love, and happiness,
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