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Sunday, December 15, 2013

The Blessing of An Unbreakable Bond

This post is dedicated to all my September 2008 WTE moms...You know who you are!! 

Back on New Year’s Eve day of 2007, I found out I was pregnant with my son, who would then be born in September 2008.   As I had just recently lost a pregnancy due to it being ectopic, my guard was understandably up; and I was being a tad bit cautious about announcing this new pregnancy to anyone.   Throughout those first few months, I had found a board on the website What To Expect When You’re Expecting  (WTE) for moms who were due to give birth in September 2008, as I was.  After I had successfully made it through the first trimester, I started participating in the discussions that were going on with these other women.  I started slowly at first as I was still a bit trepidatious, and I knew that I was one of the older moms on there as I had turned 38 during that first trimester.  The majority of the moms were in their early 20s.  However, just as when you meet people in real life (as opposed to via the internet), you instantly click with some.  As those online friendships grew for me and I got to feel more comfortable on the WTE September 2008 board, even more friendships took shape.  So, during that time while we were all pregnant we shared our ups and downs of our varying pregnancy symptoms/issues, our lives, shared our laughter, pain, and tears; and then slowly one by one we started having our babies.  Some were early, some were late, and others were right on time.  But one by one they came into this world and we celebrated and cheered our way through them all.

Even after having our babies, we kept the board going on WTE, but slowly we weren’t participating as actively as we once were.  We all had our newborns to take care of…feedings, poopy blowout diapers, sleep deprivation, babies getting their first fevers or sicknesses.  One thing we noticed, though, was that many of us were already on or had just recently joined Facebook.  We collectively started exchanging our email addresses/names, as up until that point we’d only been known by our online WTE board names, I was MommaSki845, and the Friend Requests slowly started happening on Facebook.  Over time we set up a few different, separate WTE September 2008 groups, all of which we made sure were Private, on Facebook.  Moms came and went over time, especially in those first few years, and we consolidated those initial boards down to one, and even now there is still an amazing group of 77 of us mommas who keep in touch with each other.  We still laugh and cry together online, we vent, we celebrate, basically we act just as any other group of close girlfriends would.  There have been spats, heated arguments, and hurt feelings along the way (of which even I was involved in), just as would happen with your girlfriends who you regularly see and hang out with.  One thing that we’ve been great about, though, is agreeing to disagree and respecting others views and decisions even if we didn’t personally agree with them. We all know how catty and competitive women can get with each other, but somehow we’ve managed to rise above all that, which has helped our bond grow even stronger over these past six years. 

Yep, it’s been just about six whole years since this group of beautiful, amazing, and supportive women became friends.  A handful of the moms have actually met each other in person, but the majority of us haven’t, as much as we’d LOVE to.  We span the entire United States, Canada, and other countries along the way for those moms who are military spouses or involved in the military overseas some way or another.   Despite those miles between us, we are there for each other emotionally and in spirit.  It’s a truly indescribable feeling to have knowing that there are individuals out there who truly care about you in good times and bad.  That’s what brings me to what in particular inspired this post.

One of our mommas is in the beginning stages of a divorce.  As someone whose marriage ended a few years ago right around this same time of year, I can relate in many ways to what she’s going through.   Just as we’ve all bared our souls to our fellow September 2008 WTE moms along the way over the years, she was really depressed, as frequently happens with many people during the holiday/Christmas season.  She wasn’t prepared for the divorce to be happening, her soon-to-be ex is being a douche, and she was feeling dejected and incredibly sad that she wouldn’t be able to give her two boys a “real” Christmas/gifts from Santa, despite her now having gone back to work with super long hours just so she can start over and be able to provide a new life for her boys.  She is such a sweet woman and has been so supportive to many of us over the years.  She just wanted to vent and she knows she can say whatever she wants to safely and without being judged or criticized.  She wasn’t looking for anything other than the emotional support that we’re known for showing each other.  So, having this incredibly unique and strong bond that I spoke of earlier among all of us ladies, one of the moms set up a separate group on Facebook, which at least a quarter of us have joined in on now, and we plan on sending her and her boys some presents and good cheer for Christmas.  This isn’t the first time we’ve come together to help out one of our moms and children who’ve been down on their luck during the holidays, either.  It’s what we love to do in whatever ways we can, and it all stems from us meeting six years ago on that one What To Expect September 2008 pregnancy board. 

This is a bond that is hard to explain to others in the “outside world,” as it truly is unique in its nature.  It’s a bond I feel incredibly blessed to have in my own life.  We may never have the opportunity to all meet up in person, but I know that no matter what, they have my back.  Maybe not physically/in person, but I know they are there for me emotionally and spiritually whenever I need them.  Heck, I’ve had to call on them for many a prayer, positive vibes, and good juju when my mom was in the hospital a few times and was going through some different, potentially life-threatening issues.  So, no, they may not be here to give me a physical hug, but they are there online when I need them and always in my heart.  I found this saying recently that I thought was very fitting for all of us: 

Closeness isn’t always measured in distance,
Friends can live many miles away,
But the bond of love formed long ago
Always keeps them close at heart.

I love you, my WTE September 2008 mommas, and thank you for always being there for me and my son. :-)


Wishing you all peace, love, and happiness,


Kristyn

2 comments:

  1. Awww... that was so sweet! We love you, too!!! <3

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    1. Thanks, Kate!! I just wrote from my heart. :-)

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